We Can’t Win If We Don’t Play … and Play Means Taking Risks
There are lots of experiences in my life that I would rather not have experienced, including the current one I wrote about yesterday regarding Dad and I needing not only your prayers, but your financial help.
With great emotional difficulty, including the swallowing of more of my pride built up to withstand the blows of judgment and rejection during my lifetime, I wrote the request for your help.
In response, one person texted they had mailed a cheque, for which I am very grateful.
Additionally though, God’s answer also included help for Dad’s other needs … his care needs. The several hours I spent with Dad on Sunday were exhaustive because of his ever-present intense drive to ride or walk, plus his frustration with his circumstances conveyed by his demands to come home.
Then Thanksgiving Monday, I received a call regarding yet another fall and a request for me to come yet manage Dad again because the nursing home, as usual, did not have the staff to engage him one-on-one to keep him safe. My Dad’s wife and I arrived shortly after lunch and found him sleeping, but since we drove out there, as with other times, we woke him to take him for a visit during a country ride. Yet this time, when he arose from his bed, we discovered the two-inch pool of blood spotting his pillow, leaked from the same place on his skull he has banged open three times before, though this time he did not require an emergency room visit or staples or sutures.
Tuesday morning, Pinecrest Manor called again, only this time to inform me the Owen Sound Geriatric Assessment Team was coming to meet with Dad, staff and me, so off to Pinecrest again Dad’s wife and I went. We joined Dad for lunch and then afterwards, for two hours I sat with a team member and a Pinecrest nurse to provide them with an extensive history of Dad’s life from being born in Tilbury, Ontario to the in-depth time Dad and I have spent together the past two and a quarter years. His second wife filled in some of the gaps too.
Finally, finally, finally, even though I have not been able to convince the medical community to recognize the benefits to be reaped if he had a nurse visit every day to monitor his vitals, work with the dietitian and the home staff, so it could be determined if his “special needs” are a result of more than the effects of Alzheimers and Dementia, at least, his condition is going to be evaluated today by a team of external medical professionals, including a geriatric physician and two specialists from London, whom, I was told, in all probability will prescribe additional medication … to not “zombie” him out like he had been before, but just to help him rest enough so he stops injuring himself from falls experienced because he is over tired yet determinedly stays mobile putting not only himself, but other residents and staff at risk too.
Finally, until I can afford to pay for someone to visit him every day to engage him personally, I will be freed from constantly having to be alert and available to drive out to Lucknow at the drop of a hat, as I have had to the past three days, to do my best to manage Dad for the Manor. Finally, I am relieved because I know I have done my best to ensure that what happened to him last Easter Sunday … being overmedicated that resulted in great harm to him and an unnecessary traumatic near-death experience … won’t happen again, so I can finally move forward myself.
Now the questions to be answered are do I move to Lucknow to be within walking distance during the winter months … or elsewhere? Will he now live longer because the meds will slow him down? Am I freed to move wherever I want or am I still to be close for when his time finally comes? But then again, believing as I now do, with ever-growing stronger faith, I can trust where I need to be is where I will be and if I am the one to be with Dad during his passing, God will get me to Dad when I need to be with him … and if not, he will get the person who needs to be with him to him at his greatest time of need is what my growing Respect Level for myself … and as a result, for other people has done for me, along with my return to faith which has stopped me from feeling alone in this world and is teaching me also to lean on God first, who then uses the people best able to do what he wants done.
Hmmm … imagine that … winning by playing … not sitting on the sidelines, playing it safe and comfy. It really is true that taking all the risks, quitting two jobs, going into debt, in order to get my Dad the best he needs, including the two close years we’ve shared … worth it, worth it, worth it … or at the ad says, “priceless” no matter the short-term discomfort for me.
Much has been learned and experienced, so this morning, as with every morning now, I am grateful for everything.
October 16, 2013
Kaitlin A. Trepanier
All Rights Reserved by DARK HORSES PRODUCTIONS/KAITLIN A. TREPANIER, Connecting the Dots … with The RESPECT PRINCIPLE Developer, Author, Speaker, Playwright, Altruistic Entrepreneur, and Human Rights Activist … because every child should know, by their own experience, they are valued … RESPECTED